


Well, That's Embarrassing

by Brynhildr



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Animal Transformation, Cat Cuddles, Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Hand wavy magic, Kidnapping, Magic, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Secret Identity, WIP, Wade Has Issues, Work In Progress, cat!Tony, just kidding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-05-17 22:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5887651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynhildr/pseuds/Brynhildr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just another day as an Avenger:<br/>Fight a battle, get turned into a cat.<br/>Stupid magic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos for my last story. I am overwhelmed with the number of hits I've had. I felt inspired to write some more!
> 
> This is just a little fluff one-shot. Enjoy!

"Well, this is embarrassing," Tony stated as he batted at his tail with a white tipped paw. Because he had those now. "Thanks a lot, Loki," he grumbled. He was sitting in the remains of his armor, blasted apart by one of Loki's spells. He picked his way through the bits of metal until he could find the helmet and stick his head inside.  
  
"Guys, I could use a bit of help over here," he said, hoping the communication channels were still working through the battered helmet. He heard jumbled replies over the com, and backed out of the helmet to sit. Thor landed next to him a moment later and hurried to pick him up.  
  
"Man of Iron," he said seriously as he brought Tony the cat up to his eye level. "I will see to it that my brother removes this curse from you and returns you to your mortal form." He looked around as the Hulk lumbered over to him, Hawkeye on his shoulder. "Friends, the Man of Iron has been transformed and is in a fragile state. I must hurry after my brother and I ask that you take care of our shield brother in my absence."  
  
"I'm fine, Thor," Tony hissed. "I don't need Birdbrain getting all worked up over me." Thor frowned down at the black and white cat.  
  
"Nay, Friend Tony. It is our honor to help a friend in need." He handed Tony's small body over to the Hulk who began to gently pet the cat's fur.  
  
"Pretty kitty," the green giant rumbled. Clint laughed while Tony relaxed into a puddle of happiness.  
  
"Don't laugh, Hawkeye. It feels good," Tony mumbled as he fell asleep in Hulk's palm.  
  
.........  
  
Tony became aware of his surroundings when he smelled food. Good food. Really good food. He opened one eye and glanced around. Living room. Warm spot. Breathing underneath him.  
  
"Bruce, why am I sleeping on your stomach?" Tony asked as he stretched and walked along his friend's chest to sit and stare into his face. "Bruce." He butted his head against the man's cheek. "Bruuuuuuce!" He meowed, then bopped the man on the nose. "I know you're awake. I smell food. Take me to food."  
  
"Tony," Bruce sighed without opening his eyes. "I'm asleep. You have feet. Go to the kitchen and get Steve to feed you."  
  
"Fine," Tony huffed. "More food for me." He hopped up on the back of the sofa and quickly ran along it, jumping off the edge and landing gracefully on the floor. "Huh, four legs isn't too bad, actually." He stalked into the kitchen and hopped up on the counter to see what Steve was making.  
  
"Tony, don't sit on the counter," Steve admonished, picking up the genius and putting him back on the floor. "If you can't do it as a human, you can't do it as a cat." He reached up and grabbed two blue ceramic bowls from the cabinet and frowned when he realized Tony had jumped back on the counter. "Tony!" He put the bowls down and Tony reached out to touch Steve with his paw, eyes pleading.  
  
"But Clint gets to sit on top of the fridge, so where else am I going to sit?"  
  
Steve slowly turned to the fridge and looked up to where Clint was sitting with his legs crossed, eating a banana. He swallowed and waved with a sheepish grin.  
  
"Hi, Cap! Fancy seeing you here. I'm just gonna go..." He stood and leaped up to the open air vent in the ceiling and was gone, banana and all. Steve just shook his head and turned back to Tony who was poking around the food Steve had set out on the counter.  
  
"You made tuna sandwiches," he accused the blonde. "Did you save any of that for me?"  Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed another can of tuna, upending it in one of the bowls and placing it on the table.  
  
"No point in trying to get you to eat this on the floor, is there?" He asked as Tony leaped from the counter and started munching his fish.  
  
"Nope, what do I look like? An animal?" He laughed. Steve placed the other bowl on the table once he'd filled it with water and sat down with his own plate of sandwiches.  
  
"Any news from Thor?" Tony asked when he had finished his bowl and Steve was starting on his third sandwich. Steve shook his head.  
  
"Nothing yet, but Natasha's gone to ask Strange for his opinion as plan B." He laughed when Tony made an exaggerated frowny face. "Yeah, I know how you feel about Strange and magic, but if Thor is unsuccessful in finding Loki, we will be a bit short on options." He picked up another sandwich.  
  
"JARVIS did some scans when we first brought you in," Bruce said with a yawn as he wandered in through the doorway and slumped into the chair next to Steve. "Thanks," he said when Steve pushed the plate of sandwiches closer to him.  
  
"Scans?" Tony prompted after Bruce had eaten a sandwich in two bites and picked up another.  
  
" Mmm-hmm," Bruce swallowed. "We were worried when you fell asleep, but JARVIS determined you were just worn out from the fight and transformation." He got up and grabbed a pitcher of carrot juice from the refrigerator door and gestured to himself. "Not so different from my own transformations from the Other Guy back to my squishy pink self." He grabbed another sandwich. "Sleep and food. Also the reactor."  
  
Tony glanced down.  
  
"Yeah, I was wondering how that was working since I'm not dead and this thing seems to have shrunk with me." He tapped at it with his paw.  
  
"Everything seems to be in working order, Sir," JARVIS said over the speakers. "Pardon my interruption, but Ms Potts is on her way."  
  
Tony glanced around and realized it seemed to be late afternoon.  
  
"Crap, I missed the lunch meeting with the investors from China." He jumped off the table and ran to the elevator where Pepper was emerging with a stack of folders and papers.  
  
"Pepper, light of my life, my only love, Pep. I missed the meeting again. But I had a really good reason!" Tony walked in a little circle and sat down on the floor. Pepper gaped at him for a few seconds, closed her eyes, opened them again and set the pile of papers down on the floor.  
  
"Tony?" She reached out and scratched the black and white cat behind the ears. "How did this happen?"  
  
"Loki, of course."  
  
Pepper picked him up with a sigh and pressed a kiss to his head.  
  
"Thor is looking for Loki and Natasha's gone to Strange," Steve said from the kitchen doorway. "Hopefully it won't last too long, and he'll be back to normal in no time."  
  
.........  
  
Tony was about to go out of his mind.  
  
"It's been almost a month!" He yowled. "A month, Pepper! I can't pick up a screwdriver or a blowtorch or work on the armor. I can't go out with my team. I can't leave the tower. I'm going to go mad. I can see the headlines now: Cat Rampages Through Stark Tower!" He stalked back and forth along the foot of their bed while Pepper was reading a stock report on her tablet.  
  
"Tony, you know there's nothing you can do right now," she said gently, watching the irritated cat pace. "Thor has had no luck finding Loki and Heimdall had no answers. Strange is out of town. Bruce has run dozens of tests and JARVIS has been monitoring non-stop for energy fluctuations."  
  
Tony flopped down on her lap and pushed the tablet away.  
  
"Pet me," he whined. Pepper did with a smile on her face.  
  
"You know, this hasn't been all bad," she commented after a few minutes of silence.  
  
"What?" Tony asked cautiously.  
  
" I get to spend more time with you," she smiled as Tony rolled his eyes. "No, really. You even have been sitting in on more board meetings."  
  
"Yeah, as a cat! The board thinks you're one step away from becoming a Bond villain and that I'm irresponsible for never showing up." Tony huffed again. "It is nice cuddling though," he purred when she rubbed his belly gently.  
  
"Go to sleep, Tony." Pepper said with a kiss to his head. "We've got a meeting at 8 am."  
  
..........  
  
The meeting was stretching on and on. Phillips was about to get fired for how many times he leered at Pep during his presentation and because this was the stupidest piece of tech to come out of R&D in years. Tony could see about 2 dozen different ways it could break, catch on fire, and explode all from his seat on Pepper's lap. And, he was falling asleep. Pepper had her "I'm being neutral so I don't yell" face on, and Tony could tell she was five minutes from losing it.  
  
Tony looked at the other R&D presenters around the table and picked the young intern who was frowning at the current presenter. Yep, he would do.  
  
Tony hopped up onto the table and padded over to the brunette. He sat on his tablet and butted his head against his arm until the intern slowly started petting his head.  
  
"Mr. Parker," Pepper interrupted the presentation. The intern froze with his hand in Tony's fur.  
  
"Yes, Ms Potts?" He squeeked. Tony flicked his tail a few times, rubbing his head against the kid's hand. The petting started again and Tony settled down.  
  
"I'd like to see your reports on the bulletproof fabric tests. They appear to have worked better after the last round of improvements." Pepper winked at the kid as he stood up to give his presentation and Tony jumped to sit on his shoulder. He smiled a bit and started by pulling up a video showing various tests.  
  
"After the last batch of fabrics ended up being highly flammable, we went back to the drawing board and tried different compounds and combinations of materials..."  
  
The presentation was good. Tony liked this kid. He reached out with his paw and tapped the tablet screen, pulling up schematics and more videos of the tests. He looked up when the kid faltered and bumped his head against his chin. Pepper had to stifle a laugh. Parker laughed a bit himself then tensed when a bright green ball of light materialized next to him. Several of the engineers, including Phillips (he's so getting fired), fled from the room as the light grew into a large shimmering portal.  
  
Loki stepped out of the light portal with Thor right behind him, frowns on both their faces.  
  
"Brother, fix what you have done," the thunderer commanded. "My shield brother has suffered for your laughter and amusement."  
  
After a few moments of waving hands and green light filling the room, Tony found himself very human and very naked in the arms of a very horrified intern.  
  
"Mr Stark!" The kid yelped, nearly dropping him in surprise. Tony grabbed on to his arms to keep from landing in a heap on the floor.  
  
"Don't drop me, Parker!" Tony yelped. Pepper rushed over to help Tony to his feet and wrap her scarf around his hips. He looked around the room to the few occupants left and sighed when he saw two of them filming with their phones.  
  
"Well, this is embarrassing," he looked at Pepper with a contrite smile. Parker turned beet red as he looked at the mostly naked inventor. Tony laughed. "Still not the worst thing you've caught me doing."  
  
Pepper hit him with her tablet.  
  
........  
  
(It took four days to get the videos off the internet.  
  
Parker was given free counseling.  
  
Tony never figured out why Loki turned him into a cat.  
  
Natasha bought him catnip for Christmas.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's a cat again? What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> So I got some comments saying the story didn't seem totally complete, and I agreed... So I'm continuing this story! I have absolutely no idea where this is going, but it's going to be much longer than the one shot I originally planned.
> 
> Enjoy the next chapter!

"Dr. Banner, please make your way to Mr. Stark's workshop immediately." JARVIS spoke out of the ceiling speakers. Bruce set his pipette down and carefully covered the container of highly explosive liquid he was using in his experiment.

"Life threatening?" The scientist asked as he slipped out of his lab coat and took off his protective glasses.

"No, Doctor. But urgent nonetheless."

"Do you want me to clean up, Dr Banner?" Peter Parker asked as he walked over from his work station a few feet away. "So you don't have to waste any time? It's probably something important."

"Thanks, Peter. That would be great," Bruce replied with a smile as he left the room.

"Bye!" Peter waved as he started putting away bottles and refrigerated samples.

Bruce hurried down the hall to the elevator and have a brief nod of thanks to the camera when JARVIS sped the elevator to Tony's workshop faster than free fall. He rounded the corner to see a blacked out glass wall and door which JARVIS helpfully opened as he ran to it.

"Tony!" He called out as he entered the room. Nothing looked abnormal in the workshop, bits of metal scrap and wires discarded on tables and workbenches. He saw Dum-e in the corner moving around in a distressed manner and hurried over. Dum-e was trying to coax a cat out from underneath a rolling cabinet.

"Sir seems to have reverted to his cat form again," JARVIS said forlornly.

"Dum-e, just roll back a bit so I can come out. I'm not mad at you. You just rolled over my tail, and it hurt. Come on buddy, let me out." Cat-tony was saying to the robot as he hid from the wheels.

"Dum-e, why don't you go get Tony something to drink to make him feel better," Bruce said so he could get a bit closer to Tony. When the robot zoomed away, he picked Tony up and checked his tail. "It doesn't look broken," he said. "I think you're lucky". Cat-Tony rolled his eyes and batted at Bruce's face.

"Lucky? I can't build anything with paws. Not lucky, Bruce. Opposite of lucky, actually." He jumped up on Bruce's shoulder once the man sat down on a short stool. "I'm also pretty sure that smoothie he's making could kill me," Tony said watching the robot pour orange juice and Dr Pepper in with spinach. Bruce shuddered.

"As your doctor, I'm recommending you stay far away from that drink." Bruce looked at Tony on his shoulder. "Any idea what caused this? No Loki this time or JARVIS would have said."

"Nope," Tony replied. "JARVIS ran scans. Nothing seems to have triggered it, at least nothing in the tower."

"Sir, Ms Potts is calling." JARVIS interrupted. Both man and cat looked up at the ceiling.

"Hi, Pep," Tony said. "I can't go to the meeting this afternoon."

"Tony, why?" Pepper asked, sounding very  resigned and frustrated.

"I'm a cat again."

"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed anxiously. "Are you OK? Is Loki in the tower?"

"I'm fine, Pep. Well, Dum-e rolled over my tail, but Bruce says it's OK." Tony replied, flicking his tail back and forth.

"Bruce is there?" Pepper asked sounding a bit less anxious. "That's great. I'll be down in 2 minutes." She ended the call. Tony sighed and jumped down on Bruce's lap.

"Well, I might as well get comfortable," he said. "Pet me, Bruce." Bruce rolled his eyes, but started petting Tony behind the ears. Tony stretched a bit and started purring. "Keep doing that. It feels wonderful." Tony mewed. "If it weren't for the lack of hands, being a cat isn't that bad."

"Well," Bruce pondered. "You do seem more relaxed when you're in cat form. Possibly because you actually sleep instead of working for days on end."

"Which I would normally be very happy about, but we have important investors coming to this meeting, Tony," Pepper said as she entered the workshop in her black stilettos. She was wearing a black and white skirt suit with a champagne and white scarf.

"You look ready to take on the world," Bruce said as she sat gingerly on the desk beside Bruce, careful not to knock anything over, and reached to pet Tony.

"Very important meeting," she said which Tony purred.

"I'll be your lap cat again," Tony said cracking one eye open to look at Pepper. "Or maybe your desk cat. I don't want to listen to you complain about cat hair on your bow-to-me suit."

Pepper laughed.

"Alright, Tony. Let's go win some investors," she stood and headed to the door. Tony rubbed his head on Bruce's arm before hopping off his lap and following Pepper.

"See you later, Brucey!" Tony ran out the door.

"Bye!" He called to the cat's retreating back. After a few moments he felt a nudge at his elbow. There was Dum-e holding a black colored, very lumpy smoothie in his claw.

"Wow, Dummie. That's really..." Bruce trailed off as he picked up the glass and took a tentative sniff. "Thoughtful of you." He patted the robot on the head before it beeped and made its way across the workshop to fool with some piles of bolts and screws on a table. Bruce smelled the drink again.

"JARVIS? What is in this thing? And how should I properly dispose of it?" He asked with curiosity.

"It's a smoothie containing spinach, carrots, chlorophyll, orange juice, activated charcoal, Dr Pepper, silver dust, week old beef lo mein, and coffee. You may dispose of it in the biohazard shoot to your left." Bruce shuddered and tossed the whole container into the shoot.

"How has Tony survived this long?" Bruce asked the AI as he walked to the door.

"At this point, I believe it's just dumb luck, Doctor." Bruce laughed as he left the room.

 

.......

 

"Parker!"

Peter jumped a foot in the air and spun to face the door. There was no one there. He looked around the lab, then up at the ceiling, then turned back to his desk and screamed.

"What the hell?! You're a cat again!" Tony was sitting on his desk playing with a hologram of the DNA strands Peter was studying for his new project with Bruce.

"Parker, this is good. You and Bruce are really doing some good things. You enjoying the change in your internship? I knew you two would get along." He looked up at Peter again. "And, yes. I'm a cat again. Happened this morning. Had to go to a meeting as a cat, again. How's that therapy going by the way?"

"Apparently I'm still afraid of cats," Peter griped as he edged closer to the desk. "I had some very embarrassing chats with a very nice therapist about _why_ seeing you naked made me uncomfortable. Because _why_ is important. And how I feel about my parents' death. That is uncomfortable too." He sat down on his stool. "But overall, it's good."

"Good, good," Tony said pulling up more holograms. "I hate shrinks. They always want you to talk about the horrible things and then tell you everything you already know. Or maybe those are just my shrinks. Hey this polymer is cool! You and Bruce made this?" Peter looked at the hologram and nodded.

"Yeah, that's the component for the new grips for Black Widow's and Hawkeye's shoes. It's non-skid, will grip on any flooring, works on ice and snow, and-this is the cool part- it is flame retardant and nearly impenetrable. Don't have to worry about stepping on a nail or, you know, spikes or grenades or something." He trailed off with a blush as he realized he had been waving his hands around in the air like a maniac. "Yeah, so that's, yeah," he mumbled.

"Great!" Tony said flipping through more holograms. "You free tonight for dinner? Bruce and Pepper and I are having pizza while going over some contracts and patents. Your name came up on a few of them."

"You're inviting me to your home for pizza with my science idol and the coolest CEO in the country? Of course I'm free!" Peter did a little dance on his chair.

"Hey! What am I, pond scum? I should be a reason you want to eat dinner with me." Tony flicked his tail at the intern.

"Tony, you're the reason I'm in therapy," Peter reminded him with a mocking frown.

"I promise not to sit naked on your lap this time!" Tony exclaimed.

"Well I walked in on the wrong part of this conversation,"  Natasha smirked. "Should I tell Pepper you need more Sexual Harassment seminars on your to do list?" She walked over from the door and picked up a hissing Tony. "We're going to be late for the team meeting."

"What team meeting?" Tony howled as Natasha walked out the door. "7:30, Parker! Don't be late!" The door closed behind then and Peter was left in silence.

"Why do I even work here again?" Peter asked himself as he watched the Black Widow scolding Cat-Iron Man through the glass wall.

"Because an internship at Stark Industries looks good on a resume, and getting to work with Doctor Banner is one of your dreams," JARVIS replied.

"Nah, JARVIS. I stay for you," Peter smiled as he got back to work.

"Thank you, Mr Parker."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! If you have any comments or suggestions, I'm very open to hearing them! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos for the last chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot happens!   
> And, introducing your favorite mercenary!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think I'm actually figuring out where this is going. Adding some more characters and plot is happening!

 

 

"It was a dark and stormy night-"  
  
"It was less than ten hours ago in the morning," Bruce interrupted.  
  
"Well, it was a dark and stormy morning-"  
  
"It was sunny out today, Tony," Steve sat at the head of the table with his hands running through his hair. "JARVIS, can you give us a timeline without the theatrics?"  
  
"Certainly, Captain," the AI replied.  
  
"Sure, whatever. Don't listen to me. I was the one who turned into a cat. What could I know about it?" Tony grumbled under his breath as he stalked over to Clint's seat at the table. The archer's combat boots were resting on the table and his chair was balanced back on two legs. Tony ran down his leg and torso to sit on his crossed arms over his chest. His tail flicked back and forth causing Clint to sigh.  
  
"Don't stick your butt in my face," Clint commanded without opening his eyes.  
  
"Why is Clint allowed to sleep in meetings, but I'm not?" Tony whined.  
  
"Because Clint just got back from a mission and his body thinks it's 3 am," the archer replied.  
  
"Come on, guys," Steve groaned. "JARVIS?"  
  
"This morning, Sir was working on armor upgrades for the team when he showed abnormal brain activity." A hologram of a multicolored brain began floating above the table. "Less than 20 seconds later, Sir began to transform into his cat form." A video hologram popped up next to the floating brain. The team watched in slow motion as Tony shrank into a lump inside his clothes and struggled to get out. "The transformation took less than 2 seconds to complete," the AI continued as the team watched Tony flail around until Dum-e moved over to help. They all cringed when the bot rolled over Tony's tail and he yowled and dashed for cover.  
  
"That looks more painful than it really was," Tony grimaced. He got a sympathetic pat on the head from Clint, who was frowning at the hologram.  
  
"At this point, I requested the presence of Dr Banner. He arrived several minutes later and was able to ascertain that Dum-e hadn't done any damage to Sir's tail." JARVIS sped up the video through Bruce and Pepper's conversation.  
  
"So we don't know what caused his transformation at all?" Natasha asked as she looked over the read outs JARVIS had sent to their tablets.  
  
" Unfortunately, there were no indications that anything was amiss until Sir's brain patterns changed." More holograms started floating above the table. "It was not until his transformation that the correlation was made. I have since been scanning Sir's person 6 times per minute as opposed to his normal once per minute."  
  
"Was there nothing to indicate my brother's hand in this?" Thor asked with a frown from his place in between Steve and Bruce. "This transformation of our shield brother occurred before as a result of Loki's mischief. I am troubled to see nothing in your records to indicate his involvement."  
  
"Why is it troubling?" Steve asked looking at the blond alien.  
  
 "If this is residual magic, it could be affecting the Man of Iron in other ways that we cannot see. I do not wish harm to befall any one of my friends, but especially not the brave warrior who graciously accepted me into his home." Thor stood and braced his hands on the table.  
  
"Good Captain, I must search out my brother to see if he knows what has caused this to happen once more. If he has knowledge of it, he will be the one to fix it."  
  
Steve nodded to Thor.  
  
"Go and look for Loki, meanwhile we will ask around for other explanations." Steve decided. "Natasha, can you send out some feelers to other magic users? If Thor can't find Loki, that will be our next step." Natasha nodded.  
  
"Great. Until then, Tony, you'll just have to be under your _cat restrictions_ again," Steve continued.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. No workshop. No lab. No flying metal armor. Got it." Tony waved his paw around in the air. "I'll just go help Pepper run my company."  
  
"I think that's all we can do for now," Steve stood. "We'll assemble again as we find more avenues to follow."  
  
"Got it, man with a plan!" Tony hopped off of Clint and stalked to the door. "Bruce! Help me make coffee-"  
  
"No coffee!" Steve and Bruce chorused as Bruce followed him out of the room. Thor took his leave and Steve sat back down at the table.

 

"Natasha, you'll be second in command again while Tony's out of the field. I think Tony's ... Condition, I guess we should call it... Tony's condition might take a while to reverse. It took a month last time and we were lucky that we only had a few minor incidents during that time and Iron Man wasn't missed. We might not be that lucky again."  
  
"Understood, Cap," Natasha nodded. "Clint, you have some new information for us from your mission."  
  
"Yeah," the archer grimaced. "And it isn't good."  
  
.....

 

  
Bruce and Pepper were in the kitchen chopping vegetables for a salad while Tony was lounging on the sofa in the living room of the penthouse.  
  
"I'm not too worried this time," Pepper said as she dumped chopped cucumber in the salad bowl. "We know that Loki can transform him back to human, and Tony's OK. He might go crazy without being able to work on the physical armor, but holograms are fine until his hands are back."  
  
"True," Bruce smiled as he watched Tony stretch and lounge on the sofa. "When he's a cat he sleeps so much more... I think his body is making up for his science and engendering benders. I wouldn't say it's good for him, but he seems more relaxed."  
  
"He can hear you," Tony grumbles. "When is the pizza getting here?"  
  
"The delivery man just entered the lobby, Sir," JARVIS replied. "The pizza will be here in approximately 1.6 minutes."  
  
"Awesome! JARVIS, is Peter on his way up from the labs?"  
  
"Peter's coming?" Bruce asked, setting the bowl of salad on the coffee table and a stack of plates and silverware next to it.  
  
"Yep! That kid is bright. I like him." Tony hopped onto the table to sniff the salad. "Please tell me I don't have to eat this. This smells really horrible. And healthy... But not like my chlorophyll drink, that's OK... It's salad. Ugh."  
  
"Don't tell me my salad is horrible... You just want pizza," Pepper kissed Tony on the head as she went to the elevator to liberate the pizzas from the security guard with a smile. "And don't try to steal Bruce's intern," she said.  
  
"Pizza!" Tony crowed, hopping around on the sofa. "And I'm not trying to steal his intern... I want to make sure he won't want to leave when his internship is up."  
  
"Tony, you can't force anyone to work for you," Pepper admonished while placing pizza on a plate and a water bowl for Tony on the table.  
  
"Why not?" Tony asked sniffing at the pizza. "Yum! Anchovy, sausage, and pepperoni. My favorite!"  
  
"Because slavery is illegal and coercion is morally wrong," Bruce said sitting on the sofa with his vegetable pizza and salad.  
  
"Details. Details." Tony said around a mouth full of sausage.  
  
"Um, who are we coercing?" Peter asked from the elevator that was just closing, a look of trepidation on his face.  
  
"Peter! Come get pizza!" Tony beckoned with his paw. "We got vegetable (because Bruce is boring and wants healthy food), pepperoni (because Pepper likes pepperoni, ha! Get it? Pepper-oni?), my special favorite (anchovy, sausage, and pepperoni), and a few supreme pizzas (because the others will be jealous later if they don't get any). Grab a seat."  
  
"Pepperoni is fine for me, thanks," Peter said sitting next to Bruce. "Hey, Dr Banner!"  
  
"Hello, Peter. Anything new happen since this morning?" Bruce grabbed another slice of pizza and handed it to Pepper because she was making grabby hands.  
  
"Not really," Peter said, taking a large bite of pizza. "I think one of the labs the floor below had some sort of corrosive agent that got knocked on the floor. People were running all over in the halls for a few hours. But your lab was pretty quiet."  
  
"Well, I've got some paperwork for the two of you to fill out for the patents office," Pepper said pointing to a stack of tablets on the table away from the pizza.  "Once the paperwork's done, we can watch a movie."  
  
"That'd be great," Bruce said. "I hate all the little loopholes you have to go through with paperwork. A movie will be a great way to wind down."  
  
They sat on the sofa eating pizza and doing paperwork for a few hours before Bruce finally stood and stretched.

  
"That was the last of it," he grimaced when his spine popped in several places. Pepper took his tablet and pointed to where Peter and Tony were having a staring contest.  
  
"I think a movie will help us all relax a bit." Pepper said, pushing her discarded heels under the coffee table so she wouldn't trip as she got up. "Popcorn?"  
  
"Yes," Peter and Tony chorused without taking their eyes off each other.  
  
"Thank you, Pepper," Bruce replied. "What movie are we watching?"  
  
"Terminator," Peter responded.   
  
"Star Trek," Tony said at the same time, then blinked. "Damn it! You win Parker. JARVIS remind me to send free pizza to the kid's school next week."   
  
"Told you I would win," Peter smirked.  
  
"I'm a cat, no fair," Tony huffed. "Whatever, JARVIS pick a movie we'll all like."   
  
They settled in on the sofa once Pepper came back with two large bowls of popcorn. When the movie started playing, Tony groaned.  
  
"JARVIS, you traitor!"   
  
"The great mouse detective?" Bruce asked.   
  
"Think the kids version of Sherlock Holmes as a rodent," Peter said with a smile. "I love this movie."  
  
"Tony, hush. You love this movie too," Pepper admonished as Tony settled in her lap, grumbling about kids movies.  
  
The movie was about halfway over when Peter suddenly shot out of his seat like he'd been electrocuted and flopped over the back of the sofa and onto his head.  
  
"What the hell?" He yelled when he plucked the suction cup dart off his left forearm. "Ouch," he climbed up off the floor where he had landed. "That's going to hurt," he rubbed the back of his head where it had hit the floor. When laughter started above, he looked up at the ceiling where a certain archer was leaning out of an air vent.  
  
"Hey kid, sorry! I didn't realize you would spook so bad," Clint winced apologetically.   
  
"Yeah, well some of us don't react well to unknown projectiles," Peter sighed. "It's OK. I just over reacted. Too many years of being stuffed into lockers and hit by rogue basketballs, you know."  
  
"I can't say I've ever been hit by a rogue basketball, but projectiles aimed in my direction are not normally a good thing." Bruce raised an eyebrow at Clint. "Are you going to join us or just hang out in the vent?"  
  
"What, no! He can't join us! He just shot at one of our science brethren! Birdbrain, you are uninvited," Tony exclaimed.  
  
"Have an ice pack," came Natasha's voice immediately behind Peter. He jumped again, this time falling back over the couch and into Bruce's lap. He landed with an "uuumph" and Bruce grunted.  
  
"Natasha! Come sit with us," Pepper gestured to one of the empty lounge chairs. Natasha dropped the ice pack on Peter's lap then walked around the sofa, avoiding pizza boxes.  
  
"Sorry, Dr Banner!" Peter was flailing around trying to get off of Bruce's lap. "This is so embarrassing."  
  
"So, Great Mouse Detective. Good choice," Clint said perched on the back of the chair Natasha had claimed. "Peter, hand over the popcorn, would you?"  
  
Peter flopped on the floor, grabed a handful, and started throwing them at Clint's face. After Clint successfully caught them all in his mouth, Peter gave up, passed the bowl over, and gestured that they resume the movie.  
  
When the movie was over and it was getting late, Peter said his goodbyes and Bruce headed back down to his lab with Tony in tow to check on some samples. Pepper and Natasha began chatting about finding a catch up lunch sometime the next week when Clint picked up the suction dart and started carefully inspecting it. After Pepper had said her goodnights, Natasha turned to watch Clint's face, furrowed brows and frown growing the longer he looked at the dart.  
  
"What's wrong, Clint," Natasha asked.  
  
"I was aiming for his forehead," Clint said slowly. Natasha frowned.  
  
"He shouldn't have noticed in time to move," Clint continued as he looked from the sofa where Peter had sat earlier in the evening to the now closed air vent. "But it hit him in the forearm," he said, trying to piece together the information in front of him.  
  
"JARVIS, pull up the security feed for this evening," Natasha said pullingOut her StarkPhone. The two assassins watched as the intern moved in slow motion.   
  
"Pause right there!" Clint said and backed the footage up slowly, frame by frame. "What does that look like to you?" He asked Natasha pointing at the still from the video.  
  
"Like he was doing a really good back flip until he realized that by missing him, the dart was going to hit Bruce in the neck, so he sabotaged his jump to keep us from having a Code Green."  
  
They paused for a second.  
  
"You don't think-" Clint started.  
  
"JARVIS, can you increase surveillance on Mr. Parker in and around the tower?" Natasha asked with a clipped voice.  
  
"Yes, Ms Romanoff," JARVIS replied.  
  
"You think he's a spy?" Clint asked. "AIM? Or something less sinister?" Natasha frowned as she pulled up files on Parker, Peter. There were more than she'd anticipated.  
  
"Corporate in all likelihood, he has a connection to Oscorp. Friends with Harry Osborn, apparently. Maybe he's just really good at martial arts, but he's hiding something." Natasha said handing Clint her phone.   
  
"That intel I got in Europe..."   
  
"Might be connected," Natasha cut him off. "Let's keep this between us for the time being," Natasha directed at JARVIS.  
  
"As you wish, Agent Romanoff," the AI replied.  
  
.........  
  
Peter got home around 11:30, expecting his aunt to be already asleep. He paused when he saw lights on in the kitchen, before coming around the side of the house and knocking on the kitchen window.  
  
"One moment!" He heard his aunt call out and then running water. When the door opened, his aunt was wearing an apron and had a bit of flour on her cheek.  
  
"I'm home, Aunt May. What are you doing still up?" He gave her a hug as he came through the back door and sniffed the sweet smell of dessert. "Are you making pie?"  
  
"Oh, that nice Mrs Jones down the street had her hip replaced yesterday so I decided to bake a nice cherry pie for her. I also made apple."  
  
"Mmmmm, my favorite." Peter reduced for the oven and jumped away when his aunt threw a kitchen towel at his head.  
  
"They're still baking! Go get ready for bed and then you can have some and tell me all about your dinner at the tower."  She shooed Peter out of the kitchen. He laughed and skipped up the stairs, grabbing his pajamas as he headed into the bathroom. He nearly screamed when he turned on the light and there was a masked mercenary standing an inch in front of him.  
  
"Wade! What are you doing here?" Peter gasped, grabbing onto the wall for support. "I thought you were in South America for another few weeks."  
  
"I heard through the grapevine that a little spider had gotten a job at Stark Industries! Congratulations!" Wade threw confetti at Peter's face.  
  
"It's an internship, not a job. And I got it a few months ago," Peter said flicking a piece of metallic confetti out of his hair. He looked more closely at it. "Wade, did you get me taco confetti?"   
  
Deadpool nodded his head rapidly.  
  
"Yes! Did you know you can buy almost anything on the internet? We need to celebrate! With tacos! You're working with the Avengers!" Wade did an excited little dance around the bathroom while Peter just shook his head.  
  
"Yes, as Peter Parker. Not as Spiderman." Peter said pushing past the mercenary. "Still a secret identity, Wade. Now get out while I shower... I'm about to have pie with Aunt May-"  
  
"Do I get pie?" Wade interrupted.  
  
"Only without the suit," Peter said pointing his finger as he turned on the shower. "No suits at the table."  
  
Wade pumped his fist in the air chanting "pie, pie, pie" and skipped out of the room. Peter rolled his eyes when he heard Wade talking to his boxes.  
  
"Well, of course I have to steal his pajamas. I can't eat pie naked. Oooh! He has Captain America jammies. America and apple pie! America, America!" He started to sing off key.  
  
Peter got in the shower watching the confetti get stuck in the drain cover as he thought about his day at SI and Spiderman and Deadpool and pie.   
  
"How is this my life?" He muttered.  
  
"Minions!" Wade yelled in the outer room.

 

Peter slowly hit his head against the shower wall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony takes a trip outside the tower.  
> The plot thickens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your continued support and comments! This one took me while to write and rewrite. Enjoy!

 

Pepper was waking up too early. The sun wasn't up yet.  
  
"Pepper," Tony whined. "It's too early."  
   
 Pepper laughed and she sat on the bed.  
  
"Tony, it's 7:50. If I don't leave now, I'm going to be late." She leaned over and kissed him on the head between his ears. "Go back to sleep."  
  
"Ugh, work. Go bring home the bacon. See you at lunch." Tony rubbed his head against her hand until she kissed him again.  
  
"I have a lunch meeting, Tony. I'll see you for dinner," she gave him one last kiss and a scratch behind the ears.  
  
"Mmmmn. Night, Pep," Tony mumbled as he fell back asleep. Pepper shook her head and headed for the elevator with a smile. "Alright, JARVIS. Make sure he doesn't get into trouble," she looked at the corner camera in the elevator as the doors closed.  
  
"I will endeavor to do so," JARVIS replied. "And Sir will most likely have trouble find _him_ , no matter what we do."  Pepper laughed.  
  
"Yes, JARVIS. Trouble finds him nearly every day." She put on her CEO face as the elevator slowed. "Let's do this," she said to herself as she walked out of the elevator and down the hall to her office. She had four phone calls, a lunch meeting and division reports to review.  
  
"Your 8:00 is on hold," her PA said as she passed by his desk. "Your 9:30 pushed back 15 minutes and your 5:45 rescheduled for tomorrow at 3:20." He passed her a stack of folders and a large coffee cup. "R&D reports and a cinnamon hazelnut latte."  
  
"Thank you, Michael. Tell my 8:00 that I'll be with them shortly." She stepped away toward her office, then paused. "Oh, if you see a black and white cat sneaking about, send him right in."  
  
"Yes, Ms. Potts," Michael said without missing a beat. Pepper nodded and closed her office door behind her.  
  
"JARVIS, this one might actually last a month." Pepper tidied her desk and took a sip from her coffee. "Oh, that's delicious. I'm keeping him for his coffee procuring talents, if nothing else."  
  
"I'll note it in his file," JARVIS replied.  
  
Pepper picked up her phone and smiled.  
  
"Hello, Senator. Let's talk about clean energy."  
  
  
........  
  
  
Tony woke up when he fell off the bed... And landed on his feet.  
  
"That I will not miss when I'm bipedal again," Tony said to himself while stretching and digging his claws into the carpet. "JARVIS, time?"  
  
"It is now 10:52 am, Sir. The weather is sunny-"  
  
"Thanks, JARVIS. Anyone around to help me get food?" Tony walked out of the bedroom and to the elevator.  
  
"Captain Rogers is in the kitchenette on his floor and Dr Banner is in the lab at a stopping point." JARVIS replied.  
  
"Bring me to Cap, J," Tony sat in the elevator. "He's pretty good at fixing things I like."  
  
Tony darted out of the elevator as soon as it opened on Steve's floor. He dogged a chair and the coffee table before vaulting over the sofa and into the kitchen.  
  
"Steeeeeeeve! Make me food!" Tony called as he skidded on the tile floor. Steve was at the stove wearing sweats and an apron splattered with tomato sauce. He looked down at Tony and laughed.  
  
"I'm making spaghetti and meatballs... Want to taste test?" He grabbed a plate and plucked a large meatball from the rack they were cooling on next to a pot of bubbling tomato sauce and water for the noodles.  
  
Tony hopped up onto the counter and sniffed at the plate Steve gave him.  
  
"Steve, you made real homemade meatballs. These are going to taste so good! What's the occasion?" Tony bit in and made a happy mewling noise. "This is heavenly!"  
  
"No occasion, just wanted to try something different and I had some time." Steve stirred the tomato sauce a bit. "So, I have the Tony seal of approval?"  
  
"Oh, yeah," Tony licked a bit of stray meat off the counter. "I vote you bring this to the next team dinner." Steve laughed and grabbed the pasta container.  
  
"Well, if you like it that much, I might have to," Steve dumped the pasta in the pot of boilling water, then watched Tony finish his meal. "Any plans for today?"  
  
"I might tag along with Pepper. She has some meetings and I've got nothing else better to do," Tony shrugged and sat down, licking his paw. "Any news from Thor?"  
  
"Not yet. Natasha went to find Dr Strange again and Clint is checking with some of his contacts. It could be a while until we can fix this."

  
"No biggie, Cap." Tony stood and hopped off the counter. He landed silently with his tail flicking back and forth. "I didn't go crazy last time... We've still got a few weeks before that happens. I'm off to watch Pepper win some contracts. Thanks for the grub!"  
  
Steve sat down with his plate of spaghetti and waved at Tony's retreating back.  
  
....  
  
  
When Tony slipped into Pepper's office with the help of her PA, he slipped under her desk and brushed past her ankles. Pepper glanced down at him and smiled, then continued her phone call. Tony decided a nap would be nice and hopped into her large purse. He pushed some pointy things aside (keys, hair brush, lipstick) and settled in among hair ties and a folded scarf. He was asleep in minutes.  
  
  
...  
  
  
He woke up when Pepper grabbed her bag and heaved the straps over her shoulder. He stuck his head out and watched as she left the office, continuing her phone conversation until she got in the car Happy had waiting. Tony waved a paw at Happy and the man shook his head with laughter. It wasn't until Pepper had finished her phone call, halfway to her destination, that she realized she had company.  
  
"Tony! What are you doing here?" Pepper asked. He sank deeper into her bag as she reached for him.  
  
"Well, I was sleeping in your purse and then I went for a little ride. I'm a stow away!" He replied happily as he nestled in the large bag.   
  
"Happy, take him home when I get to the restaurant-"  
  
"No!" Tony interjected. He popped his head out of the bag and gave Pepper the largest, roundest, pleading eyes he could muster. "Just let me hang out in your bag. I'm tired of being cooped up in the tower. I won't get in your way."  
  
"It's only been one day, Tony," Pepper sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "OK, fine. But you stay in the purse and you pretend you're just a regular cat." She gave him the "I won't put up with any nonsense right now" look.  
  
"Sure, I can do that," Tony replied easily as he sank back into the depths of her bag. "Won't make a peep."  
  
The car pulled up outside a nice cafe that had outdoor seating and a street musician was playing guitar ballads on the sidewalk a few doors down. Happy jumped out and opened the door for Pepper.  
  
"I'll be back in an hour and a half," Happy said as he helped her out of the car. "I'm just a phone call away if plans change."  
  
Pepper smoothed the wrinkles out of her shirt and smiled.  
  
"Thank you, Happy," and she was off. She made her way to the brunet in the dark Armani suit who was talking to a waitress and gesturing with his hands.  
  
"Mr. Andrews," Pepper said as she reached the table, offering her hand. Andrews stood and shook her hand with a smile.  
  
"Ms Potts, thank you for agreeing to a lunch meeting," he pulled out her chair and gestured. "I've been looking forward to working with Stark Industries for a while now, especially with those new prosthetic limbs you've been demonstrating. "  
  
Tony stopped listening to the chatter once they started talking about hypothetical uses of medical equipment in hospitals. He didn't need to be thinking about the smell of antiseptic, sickness, pain, and the disorienting feeling of painkillers. Instead he decided to people watch as he lounged in Pepper's purse underneath the table and between her red-soled stiletto encased feet. He watched taxis driving by recklessly and swerving to pick up new fares. There were mothers dragging their reluctant children into shops and college students with bulging backpacks and tattered laptop cases hurrying along the sidewalks. People watching let his mind wander over thoughts without having to focus on one specific thing at a time. He'd see a little kid with a Hulk keychain on his superhero backpack and plans for Hulkproof tea sets would pop up in his brain. A bird would fly by to land in a nearby tree and he'd get an idea to improve the Quinjet. He let himself zone out for a while until he saw a few tourists with cameras pointed his way.  


"Probably going to have a new headline tomorrow: _Pepper Potts cheats on Billionaire Tony Stark_ ," he mumbled to himself. He watched a few more people gather with bigger camera lenses and realized that the Paparazzi had appeared. Pepper had apparently noticed as well as she was shaking hands with Mr. Andrews and grabbing her purse to make a get away.

  
She hooked her purse over her shoulder and made her way into the restaurant, dialing Happy as she walked toward restroom sign.  
  
"Happy, slight change of plans. Could you pick me up three blocks over by the bookstore? The paparazzi crashed again. This is why I hate eating outdoors," she ranted as she walked past the bathroom and out the _employees only_  exit. Tony popped his head out of the purse. They were behind the restaurant, next to the dumpsters and some broken plastic crates. Pepper hung up and started making her way carefully around the broken pavement and navigated the alley. It seemed like she had gotten away until a voice called out, "Hey! Ms Potts!" And there was humanity coming down the sidewalk with cameras and voices calling out questions as she walked away as quickly as she could. The Paps weren't in stilettos though, so they caught up quickly.  
  
"Ms Potts! Who were you eating with?"  
  
"Are you cheating on Stark?"  
  
"Ms Potts!"  
  
Pepper had made it to the bookstore, but Happy didn't seem to be there yet. She was soon surrounded by clicking shutter lenses and overlapping questions which she was doing her best to deflect calmly. Eventually Tony got fed up with the closest man trying to get in his girlfriend's space. He leapt out of Pepper's purse and latched onto the man's horribly colored puke green and mustard yellow striped shirt. 

  
"What the hell?" The man yelped when Tony's claws dug in and flailed around, trying to get the cat off his arm. He flung Tony to the ground after a moment and kicked the downed cat in the ribs. Tony quickly tired to get out from underneath the feet of the impromptu mob, dodging and hissing until he could get away. He looked around and saw Happy pealing out from the sidewalk.  
  
"Well, shit," he said and took off running after the car. After three blocks and realizing he would never catch up, Tony slowed to a walk and sat on the stoop of small law office, tucked out of the foot traffic. After catching his breath and looking around (recognizing some shops... Wasn't that the tea shop Bruce ordered his special calming blend from?), he realized he was only a dozen or so blocks away from the tower. Not horrible, but not ideal. He started quickly padding back home, his white tipped paws silent on the pavement.  
  
He had made it over halfway back to the tower when he heard a familiar voice.  
  
"No, Aunt May. I won't be home tonight. I've got that project I'm working on with... No. I'll just sleep in the lab... I have to finish... Yes, I'm going to pick up some now."  
  
Peter Parker was walking down the street, talking on his cell phone (an Iphone? Why wasn't he using a StarkPhone! Traitor!) with a full messenger bag over his shoulder and a half empty back pack on his back. Tony darted across the street, dodging honking cars and skidded to a stop right in front of Peter.  
  
"OK, I'll make sure it's the brand you -" he stopped when he saw Tony sitting there on the sidewalk in front of him. "Mr. Stark? Aunt May, I'll call you back," Peter hung up as he bent down to pick up Tony.  
  
"What's going on? Are you OK?" He frowned and ran his hands through Tony's fur.  
  
"Paparazzi appeared and Happy and Pepper left without me," Tony summarized. Peter sighed and scratched his head.  
  
 "Somehow I think it was more than that. I was on my way to the tower, but I needed to pick up a few things. Want to ride around in my bag for a bit?" He gestured to his backpack and Tony hopped onto his shoulder and teased the zipper open before he slipped in carefully.  
  
"Ugh. Why do you have shoes in here? They smell." Tony grumbled. He stuck his head out the top of the bag when Peter walked into the drugstore. "You know there's a drugstore two blocks from the tower."  
  
"Yeah, but this one carries the specific brand and scent of hand creme that my aunt uses. The other ones don't work as well." Peter grabbed a few tubes of cream and some protein bars before wandering to the cold drink section. 

  


 "Hey, Tony. Should I get a Coke or a ginger ale? Which one goes better with peanut butter protein bars?" Tony leaned over his shoulder to look at the options.

  
"I'd say ginger ale or Sprite. Everything else would taste horrible," Tony sank back in the bag when he saw a man looking at him with an open jaw. "Also, people are staring, let's go." Peter realized the man next to him was indeed staring at the talking cat and excused himself akwardly to find the register. After a few minutes waiting in line and fighting the credit card reader, they made it outside where Peter looked at his phone.

"Shoot! I've got to be in the labs in ten minutes." He started hurrying along the sidewalk, trying to get around clumps of slow moving people. After two blocks, Tony felt Peter tense.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked. Peter kept up his pace but replied quietly, "we're being followed". Tony twisted around to see two men, one balding and wearing a cheap business suit that fit poorly around his bulging muscles, the other thin and lanky in black jeans and a genuinely distressed gray hoodie and combat boots. They were following them exactly 20 feet away and were staring at Peter's back with a frightening intensity.

"Yep, Goon and Emo Thug at our six," Tony replied. Peter smiled a bitter little grin and huffed out a laugh.

"Great, just what I needed."

They were nearing a large intersection where a crowd was stopped, waiting to cross the street. As they neared it, two more men turned the corner with grim faces and hands reaching for their guns.

"Hold on," Peter told Tony then he veered left and darted into the street. He dashed between the cars and ducked when a bullet whizzed past his head. Tony gripped his claws through the fabric of the backpack and tried not to flop around as Peter sprinted down the middle of the street into oncoming traffic, cars honking and swerving as he approached them. When one skidded to a stop directly in front of him, Peter vaulted over it and turned down an alley. Tony glanced behind to see their pursuers turning the corner. He looked back forward to see a solid brick wall. A wall that they were running toward full speed ahead.

"Um, Peter. Wall!" Tony yelled into the kid's ear.

Peter jumped and kicked off the wall, twisting in the air just as a bullet grazed his right arm and impacted the wall where his head had been a  moment before. He grabbed onto a metal fire escape and flipped himself up onto the next level. He darted up the stairs, dodging bullets from the three assailants below.

"Where's the fourth one?" Peter asked when Tony relayed what he was seeing. The fire escape ended outside a window on the top floor and Peter jumped up to pull himself up over the uneven ledge of the building and onto the gravel coated roof. He rolled and hopped up onto his feet. The service door rattled and moved and Emo Thug stepped out, gun firing before the door had even fully opened. Peter staggered and looked down at the two tranquilizer darts that had embedded in his thigh.

"Sorry, Mr Stark," he gasped before his eyes rolled back and he crumpled to the ground, unconscious. Tony tried to scramble out of the knapsack, tried to get away, but a rough hand grabbed him and a pin prick later the world had faded to black.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meanwhile...  
> (What the others were doing during the events of the last chapter)

The car was rolling down the busy New York road, four blocks from the cafe that Happy had rescued her from, when Pepper realized Tony wasn't answering her questions because he wasn't in the car.  
  
"Stop the car!" She yelled to Happy who slammed on the breaks causing a symphony of car horns to erupt behind them. Pepper jumped out of the car and ran to the sidewalk to see if she could see Tony's small form anywhere. Happy ran up behind her.  
  
"What's wrong?" He was looking around, his hand on his phone in case he had to call someone.  
  
"We left Tony!" Pepper exclaimed. "He must have gotten out of my bag when the camera mob surrounded me. We need to go back for him!" Pepper grabbed Happy's arm with a vicelike grip and worry in her eyes.  
  
"It'll be OK, Pepper. We'll get JARVIS to help us find him." He led the distraught Pepper back to the car he had double parked in order to get mostly off the street. "I'll turn around and go back on the next block." He closed the door after he helped Pepper in. She dove for her purse and rummaged for her phone.  
  
"JARVIS, I need you to help me locate Tony. He should be just a few blocks away from my current position." Pepper watched as a map appeared on her phone with two dots, one green and one blinking red, and an arc-reactor-blue line zigzagging between them.  
  
"This is the swiftest route to him by car," JARVIS intoned over the phone's speakers.  
  
"Where to?" Happy asked as he jumped in the car and merged back into the traffic.  
  
"Take a left at the corner," Pepper said as she played with her phone for a few moments. "There, you have it," she said when her map appeared on the car's GPS.  
  
"Got it," Happy said as he stepped on the gas. They had trouble moving around in the traffic but they were slowly closing in on the blinking red dot after a few minutes.  
  
"I have Sir in my sights," JARVIS said as he pulled up a grainy surveillance video that showed Tony sticking his head out of the back pack of an unidentifiable figure. "The man is a 89% match for Mr  
 Parker," JARVIS replied when Pepper asked who was carrying Tony.  
  
"Call him," Pepper said as she looked at the slow moving traffic in front of the car and the choppy black and white video of Peter paying for his items and leaving the shop.  
  
"His phone appears to be on silent, as it has gone to Voicemail," JARVIS replied. "I'm following him with cameras. They appear to be heading to the tower."  
  
Pepper looked out the window as they turned another corner. She scanned the crowded sidewalks but couldn't see Peter anywhere. Suddenly all the cars in front of them slammed on their breaks and people started screaming a block in front of them. Happy stopped in time, just inches from the car in front of him. The taxi behind him didn't. Pepper screamed as she jerked forward into the seat in front of her. She hadn't put her seatbelt on when she had returned to the car. Happy grunted as he spun around in his seat, trying to take off his seatbelt.  
  
"Are you alright?" He leaned around the seat to see Pepper clutching her wrist. Pepper grimaced.  
  
"I think it's broken," she winced when she tried moving it again. "Yes, very much broken." Happy reached over and snatched her phone off the floor where it had fallen.  
  
"JARVIS? You still with us? What's going on out there?" Happy glanced at the car behind them and the taxi driver that was stomping around his car and yelling angrily at the taxi driver behind him who had hit him as well.  
  
"Mr Parker and Sir seem to have caused a minor traffic accident by running into the road. They are currently being pursued, but they are no longer in view of any cameras. I have informed the other Avengers," the AI responded. "A paramedic should be arriving in your vicinity in the next few minutes, Ms Potts."  
  
Pepper winced again as she tried to grab her purse and extracted a scarf which she wound gently around her wrist. Happy continued talking to JARVIS while she pushed her door open and stepped out onto the pavement. She was overwhelmed with the sounds of honking horns, yelling people, and sirens. She startled when Happy touched her shoulder, gently leading her to a paramedic who had stopped a few cars away.

  
"Let's get that looked at, and we'll head back to the tower."   
  
Pepper nodded. This day was just getting worse.  
  
  
.....  
  
  
Steve was sitting on the floor of the gym with his legs crossed and his eyes closed, attempting to take deep breaths.  
  
"Try not to tense up your shoulders when you inhale," Bruce said calmly a few feet in front of him. Steve cracked one eye open.  
  
"How can you tell that I'm tense? Your eyes are closed," Steve rolled his shoulders back and tried to relax them.  
  
"I can tell from the way you are breathing. Your throat tenses up when your shoulders are tense," Bruce said serenely. They sat quietly breathing in and out until the Avenger Alarm went off. And Steve jumped to his feet. Bruce cracked open one eye to look at the nearest camera. The red light blinked at him a few times.  
  
"What have we got, JARVIS?" Steve asked, ready to bolt to retrieve his uniform.  
  
"Please report to the conference room. Sir and Mr. Parker are being persued by four armed men on foot five blocks south of the tower. Ms Potts is in the area with Mr Hogan and is injured. I've directed Agent Romanov to her location, as she is the closest, and have informed Hawkeye of the situation." Steve took off down the hall to the elevator before JARVIS had even finished. Bruce opened his eyes and slowly stood up, rolling his neck and shoulders a few times before grabbing his shoes and Steve's that had been discarded by the door.  
  
"Any idea what's going on?" Bruce asked as he made his way to the elevator that was just arriving when he reached it, not even breaking his stride.  JARVIS sped him to the floor that held the Avenger's meeting room, or the War Room as Thor called it. Bruce sat down in his normal spot as JARVIS projected the feeds from several cameras of Peter literally dodging bullets and running into traffic. "Did you hack into the traffic cameras?" Bruce asked as he stared at the variety of angles he was observing the fight from.  
  
"Indeed, Doctor," JARVIS replied. Steve came running through the door, fully uniformed, with his shield over his shoulder.  
  
"What's going on?" Steve asked as he watched the multiple hologram screens depicting Peter running as fast as he can from men with guns. A still of a man from the video popped up with information scrolling next to it. Thomas Scranton. Mercenary. Wanted by FBI and multiple offenses across the globe. Three arrests: armed robbery, identity theft, and arson. 12 confirmed kills. SHIELD wanted to bring him in for information.  
  
Another face popped up next to the mercenary's. It was older, rounder. He was hired muscle. Gary "Big G" Laurens. 6'3" and 290 lbs. Three attests for disorderly conduct.  
  
"I have identified two of the assailants," JARVIS said. "The other two have not shown enough of their faces to find a match." After a  moment the AI added, "I've also lost Mr Parker and Sir."   
  
Bruce and Steve watched as the AI tried finding cameras that would show the alley the intern had slipped into. A satellite image opened and zoomed into the street in a fast blur. Bruce gasped in horror when he saw Peter and Tony being dragged across the roof by Scranton. Minutes ticked by as the two watched powerlessly as two bags were thrown in the back of two different black SUV's.  
  
"Follow them, JARVIS," Steve commanded as he coordinated with a SHIELD agent to search the area for clues.  
  
After a seemingly indeterminable amount of time, Natasha and Pepper entered the room with Happy stationing himself at the door, his hand on his ear piece and directing security personnel with his tablet. Pepper's wrist was in a splint and she grimaced when she tried to pull out her chair.   
  
"Clint is on his way," Natasha said as she helped Pepper down into her seat. "He might have a lead." Steve nodded.  
  
"Good, we've got pretty much nothing so far," he gestured to the few bits of info they had on the holoscreens and the satellite video of two SUVs pulling into a parking garage. "We think they switched cars in the garage. JARVIS is running the plates of every car entering and exiting."   
  
Natasha frowned.   
  
"We'll just have to wait for Clint," she sat back in her chair next to Pepper with her phone to wait.  
  
  
......  
  
  
Peter woke up in the dark. He desperately tried to get his bearings as his body was flopping around. He was in a fabric bag of some kind. Road noise. Movement. In a car. He stretched out his legs and arms a bit. In a trunk. This wasn't looking good. His head was throbbing in time with the bumps of the road. Voices were seeping into his small prison. Two people. Maybe he could escape. Wait, where was...  
  
"Tony?" He whispered. He lifted his head and whimpered. OK. That was a bad idea. The car went over a large bump in the road, most likely a pothole, Peter's foggy brain supplied. It didn't really matter because his head hit the lid of the trunk and he was blissfully unconscious by the time the thought had passed through his mind.  
  
  
.....  
  
  
"I think we have a mole in SI," Clint stated as soon as the door locked behind him. Pepper grit her teeth and nodded as she and Happy began running through lists of employees. "I met with a contact today who was supposed to be giving me intel on some AIM leads I dug up on my last mission. My contact informed me that an anonymous party wanted Stark and was putting up a large sum of money to get him. An obscenely large sum of money." He looked at Natasha. "Have you told them about last night?" Natasha shook her head.  
  
"No, I was waiting for you," she said.  
  
"What happened last night?" Steve asked when the two assassins seemed to be having a conversation with eyebrows and and nose twitches.  
  
"JARVIS? Can you replay our conversation?" Natasha asked the AI without looking away from Clint. Clint frowned, but didn't say anything as the surveillance recording played and the rest of the room watched the holoscreen.   
  
"No," Bruce said vehemently when the recording was finished. "I don't believe it. Peter is not an AIM plant. Or Oscorp. He's a senior in high school. He's been interning here since the summer and with me for over a month. The Other Guy would know if he were up to no good."   
  
"Bruce, he shouldn't have been able to dodge that suction dart," Clint started, but was interrupted.  
  
"So maybe he trains in martial arts or something. I'm telling you, he's not a bad guy!" Bruce slammed his hands down on the table as he stood up that the holograms all shut down. His eyes were flashing green and his breathing was harsh.   
  
"Bruce, don't break Tony's table," Pepper said calmly from her seat. Everyone else had stood up and backed away when Bruce had yelled. Pepper had calmly remained seated while working on her phone. Pepper looked up from her work to smile briefly, then went back to her phone as she added, "I agree with Bruce. He's not a mole. But I also agree with Clint. His reflexes are not human. JARVIS pulled up video feeds of Peter fleeing with Tony this afternoon. He literally was dodging bullets. That isn't normal. But he was trying to protect Tony, so we aren't going to be hunting him down," she started firmly as she glared at Clint.  
  
 "JARVIS, Happy, and I are combing through our personnel. Let's not waste time arguing about one of the people kidnapped when we can be finding those responsible." She looked up at Steve who was watching all this with a look of worry. "Thoughts, Captain?"  
  
"The Intel Clint gathered said that AIM was doing experiments on people trying to create a healing serum. There have been rumors floating around of homeless men and women disappearing and ties to a human trafficking ring out of Europe. But why would they take Tony? He's too high profile."  
  
"Maybe they need him for his brain?" Bruce guessed. "It wouldn't be the first time he's been kidnapped by the enemy to build things." Natasha nodded.  
  
"But while he's a cat? He can't build anything with paws. And how did they know? It's only been one day in this most recent transformation." Steve said leaning forward.  
  
"Ergo, SI has a mole," Clint stated again and put his feet up on the table. "It's the only way someone could have known he was out of the tower because he wasn't recognizable."   
  
Pepper froze, her eyes widening.   
  
"JARVIS, where's my PA?" The room was silent while JARVIS searched for him.  
  
"He left on his lunch break ten minutes after your departure and has yet to return. I am unable to locate him in the tower."   
  
Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose.

"He should have been back before I returned from my business lunch."  
  
"Mr Jones entered the JFK International Airport thirty minutes ago and has purchased three tickets: Chicago O'Hare, London Heathrow, and, after three connecting flights, Prague. The first flight is currently boarding, the second boards in five minutes, the other in fifteen."  
  
"Well, I think we found our mole," Natasha said as she dialed SHIELD on her cell. "I'll see about delaying the flights."  
  
"I told you it wasn't Peter," Bruce said and sat back in his chair to meditate with a smug smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for your support and comments!
> 
> Quick note: my version of Peter Parker/Spiderman in this AU is a conglomeration of the Toby Maguire movies, Ultimate Spider-Man animated series, and the 1990's Spider-Man animated series. All you really need to know is this: he's currently living with his Aunt May and is a senior in high school. Everything else that's important will be mentioned in the story at some point. However, if you have questions, please let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony have been kidnapped!

"Oh, good. You're awake."  
  
Peter groaned at the pain in his head and tried to roll over. He jerked to a stop when he was halfway turned over, pain shooting up his leg from his ankle. He opened his eyes and groaned when the light hurt his sensitive eyes.  
  
"I woke up about two hours ago," Tony said with a huff. "They must have really dosed you up."  
  
Peter blearily opened his eyes and the room swam into focus. It was a prison cell of some kind. Concrete floors and concrete walls were only broken by a metal door. There were no windows. Two naked light bulbs were dangling from the ceiling.  
  
"Kid? Can you hear me?" Tony asked, his voice laced with concern. Peter slowly propped himself up off the floor. His arms were bound behind him with at least one zip tie and his left leg, the one that was aching, was attached to the wall with a nasty looking metal manacle.  
  
"I hit my head," Peter said with a gravelly voice. "Concussion," he hissed between clenched teeth. Tony hummed in sympathy.  
  
"Do you know where we are?" Peter asked as he turned slowly to face Tony and push his back up against the cold unforgiving wall. His boss was sitting calmly in a small metal cage on the other side of the cell. It was barely tall enough for him to stand and only long enough for the cat to take a few steps.  
  
"No idea," Tony replied. "Haven't seen anyone. No one's come in demanding anything. There's not even any cameras in the room."  
  
Peter glanced around and realized with a bit of shock that the inventor was correct.  
  
"So they really don't expect us to escape," Peter grimaced. "I think my ankle is broken. Or sprained. What did they do? Throw me down the stairs?" He tried shifting his foot around a few times, but the pain only intensified. "It wasn't like that in the car."  
  
"What car?" Tony asked sharply.  
  
"I woke up in the trunk of a car... Sedan by the size of it. Head hit the lid of the trunk when we hit a pot hole. Knocked me out."  
  
Tony was staring at Peter with a strange look on his cat face.  
  
"What?" Peter asked.  
  
"Nothing," Tony said, standing suddenly and turning around a few times in his cage. "What did you have in the bag? They've probably pawed through it by now, but it would be nice to know none of my designs were in enemy hands."  
  
"Um... A change of clothes and shoes. My laptop, mp3 player with headphones, binder full of handouts, English textbook, some snacks. My phone, too. That's it." Peter paused. " I was going to stay a friend's house later tonight if I finished early and didn't feel like sleeping in the lab or heading all the way home. He might call if I don't contact him." He shook his head slightly. "That's not important. Are you OK?"  
  
Tony sent him a glare.  
  
"I'm in a cage, in a room with no windows, in an enemy facility with no idea why they want me. Oh, and I'm a cat. I'm just peachy." He sat back down.  
  
"So are we going to talk about the insane bullet dodging and scaling buildings that you did earlier or are we just going to pretend that didn't happen?" Tony asked after a few minutes of silence. "Because I really like you, kid, but if you're some sort of super spy in training sent from SHIELD, we're going to have a problem."  
  
"Would you believe me if I said parkour enthusiast?" Peter asked with a self deprecating smile.  At Tony's blank stare, Peter sighed. "I'm not a spy, Tony. I'm just a guy who wants to help people, even if everybody seems to hate me for it."  
  
Tony watched him as Peter closed his eyes and tried breathing deeply to relax himself.  
  
"OK," the inventor said after fifteen minutes of silence.  
  
"Ok?" Peter asked, confused.  
  
"I don't need to know right now. I believe you. We'll have a talk once we're back home."  
  
Peter stared at the other man for a few moments, his mouth agape.  
  
"Seriously? That's it?"  
  
" Yep," Tony said, then batted his paw against the metal cage. "Now let's figure out a way to get out of here."  
  
......  
  
The door opened with a clang and swung outwardly into the halfway. In walked a tall thin man in a suit and Goon from before with a chair.  
  
"Mr Stark, Mr Parker. How are you finding your accommodations?"

 

The man sat on the chair and brushed imaginary dust from his pants.  
  
"Do I know you?" Tony asked. "Because I don't think I know you and I have no idea what you want, but I'm not giving it to you."  
  
"Mr Stark, you are in no position to make demands," the suited man said pulling out his phone. "My name isn't important. My employer would like you to help us fix something. Do you know what this is?" He turned the phone so Tony could see the equations and Tony scanned them quickly with a look of distain on his little cat face.  
  
"Is this another attempt at the super soldier serum? Are you really _still_  trying to work on that?"  
  
"We are aware that your father worked on the original success. You will be able to help us with this project." The man retracted his arm and put his phone back in his suit pocket. "It is a healing serum that should be able to regrow muscle and bone at an accelerated rate, without the unforseen consequences of your green friend. You would be wise to help us, Mr Stark."  
  
"What are you expecting me to do, huh? I can't really use my hands at the moment." Tony quipped.  
  
"Aaah, that is where Mr Parker comes in," the man smiled nastily. "Mr Parker will do the hands on work under your direction."  
  
"Why would I do that?" Peter asked.  
  
"Because we can hurt those you love, Mr Parker." He flipped the phone around and Peter's eyes widened when he saw pictures of his aunt, his friends, and classmates scroll by. "What will it be, Mr Parker?"  
  
Peter glanced at Tony who was sitting calmly in his cage, trying to communicate 'something' with his flicking tail and twitching nose.  
  
"OK," Peter said weakly.  The man smirked and left the room.  
  
"Good choice," he said as Goon picked up the chair and followed him. The door slammed with a bang and then there was silence.  
  
"Who did he threaten you with?" Tony asked quietly.  
  
"My aunt, Gwen, Harry, my classmates."  Peter shuttered. "You know, everyone I actually like in the world."  
  
"Well, when we get back, I'll set up better security for them. Sorry I got you dragged into the situation." Tony shook his body out as he stood up. "Good news, though. I think I know how we're going to get out of here."  
  
Peter raised his eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah? How?"  
  
"My brain and your hands and feet."  
  
"Um... Problem. I'm chained to the wall and you're in a cage." Peter said, nodding to Tony's metal prison.  
  
"We won't be forever if they need us to work," Tony said with a smirk.  
  
Peter huffed.  
  
"OK, tell me your genius plan," Peter groaned as he shuffled closer to Tony's cage. Tony purred.  
  
"It's gonna be fun."  
  
.........  
  
Goon came back for them a few hours later and dragged Tony and Peter down the concrete hallway toward a lab. He had Tony by the nape of the neck and Peter by the arm. Peter was half stumbling, half limping and he groaned every time he stepped badly on his healing foot. The lab they entered contained three computer monitors, some lab equipment that had seen better days, a metal table with straps, and operating tools coated in dried blood.  
  
"I'm going to throw up," Peter said when he saw the rust colored stains on the floor. Goon brought him over to one of the monitors and dumped him in a chair. He took out a wicked looking knife and cut through the zip ties on Peter's wrists with a few quick slices. Peter nearly screamed at the feeling of Blood rushing back into the tips of his fingers. He dropped his forehead to the table as tears rushed down his face. He jerked with surprise when rough wetness scraped his cheek. Tony was sitting on the table next to the keyboard, his fur standing on end. He leaned over and licked Peter's cheek again and Peter reached his purpling hand up to pet his boss' fur. 

  
"Mr Parker, if you would please get to work," the suited man said in a clipped tone as he strode into the room. "You have work to do. Mr Laurens will be observing to ensure you do your work correctly." Peter and Tony both looked over their shoulders at Goon who was standing two feet to their right.  
  
"OK, got it. No funny business," Tony said as he turned to look at the monitor. Their mystery captor left the room after watching them work for half an hour. Tony guided Peter through some windows and talked quietly about the information before them. It was fine until he found some equations and graphs.   
  
"Wow, these guys are idiots," Peter hissed under his breath. "Their math is all wrong," he pointed to an equation and Tony nodded.  
  
"Yeah, we don't have to worry about these guys taking over the world, do we? That amount of foreign material injected in the bloodstream would kill a grown man in about ten minutes." He had Peter click through several more windows of data. "Hold up," he said pushing closer to the screen, his tail flipping around angrily.  
  
"What?" Peter glanced over at Goon who was scowling from the door.  
  
"I recognize this, back up," Peter did and Tony tapped the screen with his paw. "Bruce's work. This must have come from Ross. Shit. Are we being held by incompetent government/military goons? That makes this even worse."  
  
"Why does it make it worse?" Peter asked while scrolling through the data and opening up more windows.  
  
"Kid, I've been kidnapped so many times I could MacGyver my way out of here in five minutes flat if I had hands and I didn't have to keep you safe. They are so low down on the list of capable kidnappers they are below AIM."  
  
"Is anyone below AIM?" Peter huffed under his breath "They are really incompetent from everything Bruce has said."  
  
"Yeah, Hammer. He actually turned himself in to the police the last time he tried to kidnap me. Idiot." Tony turned to look at Goon and back to Peter. "You think we could move up the plan? Plan C? How's your ankle?" Peter rolled it around experimentally.  
  
"Not too good, but I think I can do it."  He glanced back at the computer. "OK, the message just sent, hopefully JARVIS gets it soon." Peter glanced at Tony. "You ready?" He asked. Tony nodded his head and twitched his tail.   
  
"Yup! I've always wanted to maul someone," he joked and leaped off the table and sprinted to Goon who startled. Peter shoved away from the desk and headed over to a cabinet marked 'flammable' and ripped the door open. After a quick search he grabbed a few glass bottles of chemicals and chucked them at the far corner of the room as hard as he could, then started sprinting to the door where Tony was still attacking their guard. The explosion knocked the guard down and Peter kicked him in the head as he grabbed Tony and stumbled down the hall.  
  
He flew down the corridor and side stepped a few guards who charged at them. Peter ducked into a stairwell and went up and up as Tony shouted directions in his ear from his perch on the boy's shoulder. Peter skidded on the linoleum when he burst out of the stairs and onto a hall of closed offices. A guard shouted from nearby and Peter ducked into a room before the three men came running around the corner.   
  
Tony nudged him while he listened to their retreating footsteps.  
  
"What?" Peter asked, turning to look at Tony on his shoulder. Tony just pointed to the window and Peter hurried over and pushed it open and stuck his head out into the night air.  
  
"We're seriously only on the second floor? How many levels did they have underground?" Peter grumbled as he gripped onto the window ledge and pulled himself out the window head first. "Hold on tight," he said and began climbing up the wall like a spider. When he reached the roof of the four story wearhouse, he flipped over the edge and started running toward the opposite edge of the roof.

  


"Woah, Woah, wait! Peter, what are you doing?" Tony asked when they didn't slow down. Peter took a running leap with a whoop and landed on the roof of the adjacent building. Tony yowled and sank his claws into the meat of Peter's shoulder.  
  
"What the hell! Parker, you're going to get us killed," Tony was freaking out.  
  
"No, I'm getting us away from the building that is probably going to explode soon," Peter replied breathless as he ran along another roof and jumped onto the side of a taller building. "Also, I'm pretty sure we're being followed." Tony twisted his head around and searched the surrounding roads until he saw three black SUVs causing a traffic jam as they ran through red lights. As Peter reached the top of their current building Tony realized that he knew where they were.  
  
"We're in Boston," he exclaimed as Peter paused on the top of the building and looked around at the lights twinkling in the night. The sound of an explosion had his head whipping around to face the direction from which they had fled. "Well, the Avengers should be able to find us soon. That's going to be on the news. Why Boston? Not the normal city for crazy scientist-military-government type workers."  
  
Tony shrugged.  
  
"Maybe they're expanding?" He guessed.  
  
Peter looked around again and huffed.  
  
"So, Boston? You wouldn't happen to have a safehouse or secret lair here that nobody knows about, would you?" Peter looked at his boss who was grinning like he'd eaten a canary.  
  
"Of course you do," Peter smiled and scratched Tony behind the ears. "Thank God you're a paranoid genius billionaire with secret lairs."  
  
"Right! You need to go West," Tony said with a smirk. "Mush!" And Peter took a running leap off the roof.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It's been a while, but all the crazy Easter church stuff is over and I had some time to finish up this chapter today! Yay! I hope you like it! We still have a long way to go, so don't worry... It's not anywhere near finished.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team is searching for Tony and Peter, but they'll have to wait! Cue the rabid rodents running in the streets!
> 
> Also, Tony and Peter have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter. Things are starting to develop and plot is happening! 
> 
> Feel free to comment below!

It was well after midnight when JARVIS broke the tense silence of the meeting room occupied by Steve, Clint, and Happy.  
  
"Incoming message," the AI reported after a gentle 'ping' to get their attention. A string of numbers and letters appeared in front of them, Clint and Happy frowning in confusion while Steve poked at the hologram.  
  
"What kind of code is this?" Steve asked as JARVIS started rearranging the code into a sentence.  
  
"It is based off the periodic table and Pi. Sir had used this before to contact me," the AI replied as they looked at the message.  
  
' _Taken hostage by mercenaries under unknown employment. Location unknown. Forcing Tony to attempt recreation: super soldier serum. Aunt May and Co in danger. Escape attempt eminent. Peter.'_  
  
Clint jumped over his chair in his haste to make it out the door, his phone at his ear, coordinating agents to secure Peter's friends and family. Happy pulled up an array of news feeds and dialed Pepper's number. Steve sent a quick text to Natasha to update her while she was hunting down Pepper's PA in Chicago. Steve smiled when she saw her reply.  
  
 _Don't have all the fun without me_.  
  
Clint came back in the room with Bruce and a half dozen SI security personnel and began coordinating with Happy to arrange for the tower's protection while the Avengers were out in the field.  
  
"Cap, we're picking up Peter's Aunt and bringing her back to the tower where she can be safe." Clint said when he had explained the situation to the security guards.  
  
Steve nodded just as the Avengers Alarm started blasting out of the sound system.  
  
"What now, JARVIS?" Clint asked with a groan.  
  
"It seems Thor has engaged Loki in a battle in Times Square. There appears to be a convergence of magically enhanced squirrels attacking civilians." JARVIS replied. Clint looked over at Steve.  
  
"Your call, Steve," he said, hand hovering over his phone.  
  
"Suit up, Hawkeye," Steve said with a nod. "We'll assist Thor. JARVIS, you and Bruce hold down the fort with Happy and Pepper. See what you can find out about Tony." With a nod to Bruce, Steve took off at a run after Clint. He raced down to the garage and started his motorcycle as Clint came running down the stairs with his bow and quiver. "Hop on!" He called over the engine.  
  
"Let's go fight some magic squirrels!" Clint yelled back. Steve flew down the road, swerving in between cars and running several red lights. Clint laughed at the honking cars they left in their wake.  
  
Halfway to the square, Steve got a ping in his earpiece.  
  
"Steve, there has been an explosion in a warehouse in Boston. JARVIS thinks it's Tony and Peter." Bruce said over the sound of Pepper and Happy arguing in the background.  
  
"Follow the news and update me as you can," Steve swerved around a semi and narrowly avoided a parked car to turn the corner. "We'll let you know if we need the Hulk. Hopefully we can subdue Loki without him."  
  
Bruce chuckled. "I already broke Harlem... I'd rather not damage Times Square if I can help it."  
  
"Squirrels incoming 60 feet," Clint interrupted from the back of Steve's bike. Steve just revved the engine and scattered the little mammals with glowing green eyes. Clint hopped off and took off running to a construction scaffolding over a sidewalk and started climbing to a better vantage point. He was shooting stun arrows to keep them contained, but it was doing little to the ever growing number of furry critters. Steve burst through a sea of green eyed squirrels to see Loki and Thor tossing bolts of green magic and lightning back and forth in the middle of the mammal swarm.  
  
"Thor!" Steve called as he jumped off his bike which was immediately covered in squirrels.  
  
"Captain! Assist me!" This called holding his hammer aloft, a bolt of lightning bursting forth and frying a swath through the squirrels. Steve ran over to Thor and threw his shield at Loki's head. Loki blocked the shield with a forcefield of sparkling green. Steve caught it on the rebound and grimaced when a squirrel bit at his leg.  
  
"Clint? Anything?" He asked as he blocked a beam of green from hitting Thor's shoulder as the god called down more lightning at his brother.  
  
"I'm down to 2 electrified nets, 3 flash bangs, a grappling hook, and a stink bomb," the archer replied. A thwack, thwack sound was heard over the line. "Right, make that 1 flash bang. I've got police and firemen coming with reinforcements. Changing my perch."

  
Steve looked around at the thousands of squirrels writhing around him and talked his ear piece. "Bruce, we need Hulk."   
  
There was silence on the other line.  
  
"Bruce?" Steve tried again. Thor shoved him out of the way of a stay but of magic and he ducked behind a trashcan. "Bruce? JARVIS? Anyone hear me?" There was no reply.   
  
"Hawkeye, can you make contact with the tower?" Steve asked, punching a squirrel in the face when it jumped over the trashcan to attack his face.   
  
"Negative, Cap," Clint replied. "Also, I'm out of arrows and I've only got two magazines left for my guns. What's the call? I'd rather not have 'death by squirrel' on my headstone." He joked.  
  
"Thor, can you fry as many of these things as you can? Hawkeye, see if you can make contact with the tower and help the police where they need it. Where are the agents SHIELD was sending over?" He dashed through the street in the paths littered with scorch marks from Thor's lightning. He charged Loki and managed to whack him in the shoulder with the shield. The god faltered as he turned and Steve had just enough time to swing his arm back for an uppercut that tossed Loki onto the street. Thor stepped up and dropped his hammer on Loki's chest plate.   
  
"Stay down, brother," the blonde said as he stepped up to Steve's side. "I will deal with my brother. Rescue the Hawkeyed One from the rabid rodents, Captain." He clapped Steve on the shoulder and withdrew magic handcuffs from a pouch attached to his belt. "Loki, you will come home and cease this petty disturbance you have caused." Loki rolled his eyes as his brother jerked him to his feet.  
  
"You have no finesse, brother," he remarked snidely.  Thor looked with a disappointed frown at the darker god.   
  
"Have care, brother. Your punishment will not be easy."  
  
"They are squirrels, Thor," Loki said with cold anger in his eyes. "It was just a bit of fun to pass the time."  
  
"And what about Iron Man?" Steve asked. "Is that just a game for you as well?"  
  
Loki frowned in confusion.  
  
"I have done nothing to your friend Stark. He is not here, unless he is concealing himself with some form of non-magical shield." Loki looked around.   
  
"He has transformed once more into a feline, brother," Thor said with a sigh. "This is truly not your doing?" Loki shook his head adamantly.   
  
"I have not seen or even thought of the man until this  moment," Loki snapped. "It is not my doing!" He tried to cross his arms and let out a frustrated groan when he realized his hands were still cuffed together. "I'll help you find an answer for your friends predicament if you get me out of these horrendous manacles." Thor looked over to Steve.   
  
"If you trust him, he is under your care," Steve said with a nod. "Bring him back to the tower. Hawkeye and I will coordinate cleanup and containment until SHIELD arrives."  Steve watched the two bickering brothers leave by way of hammer, Loki hanging on to his brother and scolding him for harming the 'helpless long tailed rodents' that had become his friends. Steve shook his head and jogged over to Clint through the mess left behind from their battle.  
  
"How much is Stark going to have to shell out to fix the street?" Steve asked when he had neared Clint and a group of EMTs who were patching up some nasty bites and setting a broken wrist on a group of injured civilians.  
  
"Probably not as much as he's going to have to pay PETA for us killing all these squirrels." Clint replied while disinfecting a bite on his forearm. Steve chuckled, then frowned at Clint's serious face.   
  
"Wait, seriously? They were magically enhanced rabid squirrels that were eating people!" Steve waved his arm at the line of people by the ambulances. Clint shrugged.  
  
"Don't look at me. I grew up in the circus and they protest those too. I mean, they have good reason to, but it seems like a waste of time to me. The protests, I mean." He finished wrapping up his arm and nodded his head over to a fleet of black SUVs that were pulling up to the curb. "Time to hand the cleanup over to SHIELD." He patted Steve on the shoulder and walked over to the agents, calling out to the agent in charge as he went. Steve looked around at the cracked asphalt, scorch marked buildings, dead squirrels, and wrecked cars and pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be such a long night.  
  
...  


 

They arrived at Tony's "safehouse" just after dawn. It had taken lots of leaping, running, crawling, and creeping from Peter (as well as a stolen hoodie from a trash can). Peter stared at the apartment from the neighboring rooftop.  
  
"Are you sure it's safe?" Peter asked while searching the area for any people with not so pleasant intentions. There was a woman heading to work in a suit and heels and a skinny man jogging. Tony nudged his head against Peter's.  
  
"I'm sure! I own the building. The upper two floors are mine. The tenants are all screened when they apply and most of them are former employees or relatives. Come on. I'm tired and hungry and we can contact JARVIS once we get in there."  
  
Peter relented and used the roof ledge to launch across the gap and land lightly on the roof of the building. He walked over to the roof entrance door and entered the code Tony fed him. The door swung inward and Peter quickly made his descent onto a landing.  
  
"First door to the right," Tony guided him. Peter opened the door with another code ("you really like security, huh?" "Well it keeps the kidnappers out.") and entered a small but nicely furnished two bedroom apartment with a kitchen and living room.  Tony hopped off Peter's shoulder and ran over to one of the bedrooms. Peter followed to find a miniature computer lab set up and Tony sitting in a black rolling desk chair.  
  
"Look alive, JARVIS!" Tony called and hit a few buttons with his paws. "Peter get over here and help me with those lovely opposable thumbs!"  
  
"It's good to hear your voice, Sir," JARVIS replied. "Your message was appreciated."  
  
"How long until the team picks us up, J?" Tony asked while poking Peter in the back of the head with his paw.  
  
"Stop that," Peter admonished with a swat as he pulled up the files he had saved to Tony's secret server while at the facility. "This stuff is horrible, Tony. They were already testing on live subjects for months before they nabbed us."  
  
"Sir, the team is unable to pick you up at this time." JARVIS said over the reply Tony was about to make.  
  
"What do you mean they aren't coming to pick us up? Where is everybody? What's going on?" Tony rambled as he got more and more worked up.  
  
"There was an incident with rabid magic squirrels in New York. Captain Rogers and Agent Barton are currently working cleanup with SHIELD, NYPD, and other first responders. There were 8 deaths, and 52 hospitalizations. Thor is escorting Loki back to the tower. Agent Romanov is hunting Ms Potts' personal assistant in Chicago and Dr Banner hulked out and left the tower, current whereabouts unknown."  
  
Tony sat in a stunned silence for a few moments.  
  
"Well, OK. That's not ideal. Peter and I are going to hide out here for a while to make sure we lost our not so friendly kidnappers before we try to leave. If we're compromised we'll head to the Library."  
  
"Understood, Sir," the AI replied. "I took the liberty of sorting through the data you dumped and removed all traces of malware and viruses. The information is ready for your perusal."  
  
"Great! Thanks, J. Peter, why don't you go find us some food or take a shower while I sift through this and find out what's going on from Pepper." He pushed his head against Peter's cheek. Peter have him a little rub behind the ears.  
  
"I'm starving, now that you mention it," he pushed himself out of the chair and wandered into the kitchen area to find food. He opened the cabinets to find boxes of power bars, canned fruits and vegetables, boxes of pasta, and a whole cabinet filled with bags of dried fruit. He grabbed a chocolate power bar and a Gatorade before pulling out spaghetti and sauce and two cans of tuna and began making dinner for both of them. Puttering around in the kitchen was helping him relax, even if he nearly fell sleep on his feet waiting for the water to boil.  
  
"Tuna!" Peter called to the other room. There was a pause and then Tony was scurrying into the room and pouncing on the bowl Peter had set out on the counter.  
  
"Yuuuuuum," Tony purred. "That is so good!" Peter chuckled while he dumped the whole jar of sauce into the pot and stirred it around. 

 

"I know how you feel," Peter groaned as he dug into his carb feast. They ate in silence for 20 minutes, Peter going back for 3rd and 4th helpings of spaghetti.  
  
"Increased appetite?" Tony asked after Peter finished off the entire pot of pasta and grabbed another bottle of Gatorade. Peter nodded.  
  
"Increased metabolism and healing to go along with the super powers. The more I do, the more I need to eat." He smiled cautiously. "So you figured it out."  
  
Tony nodded. "My friendly neighborhood arachnid teenage vigilante superhero. Emphasis on the teenage part of it." He frowned. "I can't believe I'm saying this because I was blowing things up every weekend when I was your age, but don't you think you're a bit young to be fighting the good fight and all that?" Tony flicked his tail.  
  
"My uncle used to say _with great power comes great responsibility._  I got the power, I gotta do something with it, you know?" Peter said fiddling with his bottle cap.  
  
"Yeah, I get that," Tony said walking over to Peter and putting his paw on his forearm. "I had someone tell me to make something of my life, so I redirected my company, blew up my weapons, and became a superhero. And I get it, doing it alone and the secret identity-" Peter sputtered.  
  
"I. Am. Ironman." He deadpanned.  
  
"Yeah, well they wanted me to say it was a bodyguard, like that was going to work. But I understand the lone vigilante act. You need to protect your loved ones so they don't get kidnapped by whoever hates you that day. But, seriously, if you ever need it, I can help. Don't be afraid to ask." Peter smiled and ran his hand down Tony's spine.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"So, are you going to tell the others?" Tony asked. "Because they are observant and will probably figure it out eventually. I mean, I figured it out and the assassin twins can't be far behind. Actually, Romanov's probably got it all figured out and is waiting to see how long it takes everyone else."  
  
Peter shrugged.  
  
"Well, I don't know about after this mess started, but I'm pretty sure I was able to cover my tracks. JARVIS, were you able to extrapolate from your feeds?" Peter turned to the camera hidden in the corner.  
  
"I had my suspicions, but was unable to provide proof until yesterday," the AI's voice floated over from the speaker by the stove. "I respect everyone's privacy protocols, so much of the time you are in the tower doing research, I am not recording and only a passive presence unless you otherwise specify."  
  
"Thank you," Peter said smiling. "Well, besides JARVIS, I don't think anyone had it figured out. I had thought Bruce might because of my run in with Hulk, but he never mentioned it and I didn't want to ask about his memory and how they coincide with Hulk's. I thought it might be insensitive."  
  
Tony purred a bit as Peter continued to run his fingers through his fur.  
  
"When did you run into Hulk?" Tony asked with a whisker twitch.  
  
"A few months ago, when those sharks with legs started coming out of the sewers. I was stopping a bank robbery and Hulk wandered past with two fists full of snapping sharks and decided he wanted to use my webs to give them hats. He kept unwrapping my robbers and getting his hands stuck together. He eventually got tired of it and grabbed his sharks and walked off. The robbers were begging to be put in jail by the end of it. It was a long night."  
  
Tony was laughing so hard by the end of the story, he had flopped onto Peter's lap.  
  
"That is so good! We wondered where he has wandered off to. He came back grunting about "fish hat" and we never could figure it out. But you didn't answer the question. Are you going to tell the rest of the Avengers?"  

 

Peter frowned and slowly nodded.

 

"Yeah, I think I have to. If I ever want them to trust me again, I mean. Oh god. Captain America is going to give me the 'I'm Disappointed In You, Son' face isn't he?" 

 

Tony laughed which then turned into a yawn and stretched before hopping onto the floor.  
  
"OK, let's get some rest. JARVIS, lock us down and keep us updated. Peter, let's find you some pajamas and crash." Peter followed Tony after dumping his dirty dishes into the sink. After a quick shower and changing into a new pair of sweatpants and a black T-shirt that read "I'm with stupid" in yellow bubble letters, he flopped down on the bed and sighed. Tony jumped onto the bed and settled next to him on the pillow. Peter closed his eyes to the sound of Tony's light purr.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Chase  
> AKA  
> Natasha is not amused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been ages since I have posted on this story. Life has gotten in the way of writing recently. I have chapter nine in the works and my friend Rei Blackstone (over at fanfiction.net if you want to check out her stuff) has been super helpful in getting me out of a writer's slump. A huge thanks to her for being my Beta for this chapter!

Natasha Romanov was not a woman who openly broadcasted her emotions on a regular basis. She kept her face blank and only allowed tiny true smiles for her closest friends. Or, she was an actress, putting on a performance to keep her audience enraptured until they succumbed to a well-placed kick to the head or a gunshot between the eyes.

But tonight she was sitting by herself in an empty warehouse in Chicago with a knife in her left hand and a gun in her right. She was angry, tired, and sick of waiting for Pepper's turncoat personal assistant. Well, she was alone now. The unconscious bodies of the hired muscle and mercenaries were in an alley four blocks over. The police would get an anonymous tip after she was done here. If the PA ever showed up for his meeting, that is.

Natasha closed her eyes and listened to the far-off sounds of humanity and traffic outside the walls of cinder block, corrugated metal, and brick. Car horns, muffled yells, and the rumbling sound of tires eating up pavement was a perfect white noise that relaxed her as she waited.

She had not made it to the airport in time to stop the mole from getting on the plane. The SHIELD agents sent ahead of her had been waylaid by TSA and, by the time she had made it to the gate, the plane had taken off. All that were left were a few stills from the security cameras showing a shady profile of her target as he caught his flight. After a brief argument with the powers that be in the airport, Natasha was on the next flight to Chicago. 

Then came the chase.

Hunting a PA should not be this tricky, Natasha mused. He had successfully avoided most cameras and once he had made it into the city, she had nearly lost him. Thankfully, she still had a few contacts in the city and picked up the trail after a mere three hours of searching. That had led her through a gang turf war, a botched carjacking, a small bar fight, and finally to this cold warehouse where she had been able to get the jump on the guards. What they were guarding, she hadn't found out. The warehouse was empty. No computers. No files. Nothing being stored. Only large stacks of empty shipping containers made of a variety of materials. 

She was cold, hungry, tired, and ready to kick some butt. 

But first, she waited. Utilizing a meditation technique she had recently learned from Bruce, she focused on her long, slow, deep breaths and listened intently. It calmed her and anticipatory jitters and allowed her to relax while maintaining a heightened sense of awareness for her surroundings. 

After nearly another hour, Natasha heard a door opening on the other side of the building. She silently sprang up from her seated position and merged into the shadows. There were three voices. One she recognized as Mr Jones. The second was unfamiliar, but gruff and had a heavy Midwestern accent. The third, surprisingly, was female.

"I trust you were able to get out unnoticed," the woman said in a sharp voice as the footsteps traveled closer.

"Yes, ma'am," Jones said. "If they have noticed my departure, I haven't seen a tail. But I've been covering my tracks. I haven't been in contact with any other the others since I completed my task." 

The three stopped in the doorway of the room Natasha had snuck through. She held her breath, not wanting to miss a single word or alert the others to her presence. 

"No one knows you're here?" The other man asked. 

"No-"

The gunshot almost made Natasha flinch. Almost.

"Dispose of the body," the woman said before entering the room. The gruff voiced man grumbled his assent and left, dragging the body of the PA with him. Natasha watched as the woman walked over to a blank wall across from Natasha's hiding place. She pressed her hand onto the wall and listed off a string of numbers. A hidden door slid open and closed behind the woman before Natasha had even figured out what was happening. Making a split-second decision, Natasha left the building to follow the man dumping the body of Pepper's PA. This was a much larger operation than they had first believed.

She sent a brief text to Steve as she walked down the street: 'Jones is dead, following body. '

A few minutes later, as she was peering around a storefront to watch her target drop the body in a dumpster, she received a reply:' is it a zombie?'

'Give Steve his phone back, Clint. '

'No! I've been cleaning up dead squirrels and watching Loki and Thor argue. I want a real mission, Nat!'

Natasha stuffed her phone in her pocket and watched the man get back into his taxi and drive away.

'JARVIS run the tags and follow this taxi,' she texted to the AI with a picture of the man driving away. She slipped into the alert and checked the dumpster. 

Michael Jones was killed with a bullet to the heart. His face was undamaged and his shocked eyes stared up at her as she reached in to search through his belongings. Natasha rummaged through his clothes and found his wallet had been left basically empty except for a driver's license, a crumpled boarding pass, and a stick of gum.

She threw the wallet back in the dumpster and undid his shirt, looking all over his body to make sure there was nothing else on him. When she noticed small scars on his arms she frowned. Those looked like needle marks.

She dug out her phone, noticed 18 texts from Clint (Thor is now singing an ode to the squirrels. Nat, he has named them all. Save me!), and called the local SHIELD branch.

"This is Agent Romanov. I need a cleanup team and a full tox report on a body at my coordinates." She paused when the agent asked where the body was. "In the dumpster behind The Watch Repair Place." She ended the call, opened a text to Clint and typed out: shit is going down.

She snapped her phone closed and strode out of the alley to catch a train as the sun turned the sky pink. 

......

Natasha walked into her hotel room and locked the door behind her. She quickly secured the room and went into the bathroom to run a much-needed bath. The steam filled the room and her shoulders relaxed bit by bit as she breathed in the moisture. Then, as she was stepping in the hot water, her phone rang. Natasha let out a nearly silent groan at the interruption. She forcefully turned off the tap and stomped back into the bedroom.

"Romanov," she blunty stated as she wrapped a bathrobe around her body and sat down on the end of the bed.

"I got your text, you need back up?" Clint said eagerly. She could hear the grin in his voice. "Because I'm literally sitting on my ass watching Loki and Thor bicker about who broke the insert-expensive-magical-object-here over 500 years ago. I am not getting paid enough for this."

Natasha sighed.

"Clint, I'm hanging up on you before my bath gets cold, then I'm going to sleep for 6 hours, wander around the Chicago SHIELD office until someone gives me the info I need, sneak back into a shady warehouse/secret lair after dark, and hopefully get some answers to all our questions. If you call and/or text me again in the next 8 hours and it's not one of our code phrases for the end of the world, I will get JARVIS to take away your range privileges for a month." 

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“Goodnight,” Natasha growled into the phone and turned it off. Finally, some peace and quiet. 

No one called her for ten hours, just to be safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
